Saturday, November 12, 2011

Blog 14 Dave N' Buster's

11/6/2011 Saturday morning.

Here’s a free tip. If all you ate for dinner was a Vietnamese vegan soup, and you’re on a 325mg blood-thinner, by drink three you’ll be drunk at Wade’s birthday party. Once the chorus of “how are you doing” started, this seemed to work out for the better.

Also, Dave N’ Buster’s still has Daytona racing machines proudly displayed (copyright 1994.) So I drank and drove past the Sonic Mountain.

This is an actual Dave N' Buster's ad. A woman with a basketball for a brain. She can't close her mouth because that part of the brain IS A F*#KING BASKETBALL!

It’s not that I dislike people checking in on how I’m doing, it’s that I hate telling people that somewhere around fifty days ago the feeling in my leg subsided and it never came back—and did you know if you punch me as a joke a gigantic bruise will show up? Party tricks!

When did this blog become so cynical? Dave N’ Buster’s hangover’s are the worst. Also, I bet some poor guy somewhere has a google alert for “Dave N’ Buster’s hangover,” and is trying to find a way to spin that whole “using Daytona to drink and drive” bit I did earlier. Yeah, and all my friends bought shot glasses or drinkware with their tickets, around children. DNB is a den of debauchery, masquerading as a family establishment.

I will update you when DNB starts following me on twitter. Apologies to Wade if I ruined his birthday party…


What was I talking about? Oh right, updating my health status to people. Yeah, no feeling in the arm or leg, that’s actually getting worse (though, I did manage to almost beat Seth in pool. Six balls up before he turned on some sort of Rainman-esque actual skill) and the eyesight in my right eye is still fluctuating and strange. I don’t even think to update people because I am so used to it, I don’t even think about it.

So, if you were wondering, we’re in no change territory so I’ve resolved to make a horse’s badonk out of myself in a public setting through unparalleled skill in skiball. Yes, all of my adult friend’s and that vulgar child to our left, the stroke victim just whomped your face at skiball—natch.

Oh man, I totally just lost this game of basketball in front of my over-reactive, racially diverse, group of friends who conveniently placed their drinks into the shot (which they're enjoying responsibly.) 

You know what Dave N’ Busters should let you buy with tickets? Powdered donuts! Just when you get the ridiculous-fruity-drink-munchies, they hit you up with the powdered donuts—which, as I now think of it, would result in a rush of choking deaths. I’m still thinking that’s kind of worth it. Make this happen Dave N’ Buster’s! (Look, I know we’ve had our difference in the past [like when I insulted your establishment repeatedly roughly 42 seconds ago,] but this could really turn over a new leaf for the DNB brand.)

Wait, are powdered donuts vegan?


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