Friday, December 9, 2011

Blog 17 FUUUUUUU--


I knocked my right top incisor clean out of my head this morning, I hope your hour before work was equally eventful.

It's funny until it's you. Then it's funny to everybody else.

A bit of background. For the last few weeks, I’ve taken more than my fair share of spills when my left leg gives out unexpectedly—the other day I had my entire leg twisted at a really strange angle and was putting all of my weight on it when it buckled and I fell down mid-conversation in my own office. I think, had I feeling in that leg, it would have been saying something like “OHDEARGODWHYOHTHEPAINHOLYSHITDUDEPLEASESTOP.” Down I went. This morning was sort of similar. I had my backpack pretty full with things I need to ship for the Desert Bus auction, and I stepped out of the car but put the weight on the wrong leg and my mouth came down on the top of the door pretty hard. I had swallowed the tooth before I realized anything had happened. I got really upset and didn’t really have anywhere for that anger to go…

I mean, I know why I’m upset. I still haven’t paid off all of my existing hospital bills, not by quite a bit actually, and my job heavily relies on my ability to market games and generally has some semblance of present-ability when talking about video games. Having been through the procedure before, I also know that getting an implant to replace the tooth will be in upwards of eight thousand dollars, and insurance doesn’t cover a whole lot of that.

So, outside of the pain of my face picking a fight with a car door, I at some point need to get this fixed so I don’t look like Stew from The Hangover (which, sidenote: I rented the Hangover II in relation to finding it funny we lost the same tooth. While slightly funny, the movie is pretty devoid of what I would refer to as “soul.” I vote: skip it.)

I’ve also decided that starting now I’m going to be using a cane to get around more easily (where “easily” is “not trying to Chris Farley everything.” Vans, rivers, sometimes they get together.) If you find a cool cane on the internet, feel free to link it in the comments of the blog and I’ll check it out.

I currently weigh less than David Spade in this photo.

So, this stroke so far has cost me: my right eye’s sight, the feeling in my left leg and arm, one of my friggin’ teeth, the ability to drive, and about thirty pounds, among many other things. Yeah, I know the ladies are lining up to get a piece of that action. Have you seen my collection of Silverhawks action figures from the mid-80’s? They’re mint!

What do Internet?

What. Do.


  1. One thought for something to do about the tooth for now.. retainers are a looooooot cheaper, and look pretty much seamless. Since you're already grown you won't have the one problem I did with them (my mouth was shifting as I grew, retainer wasn't.)

  2. and buy a little rubber cover for the bottom of it and there you go, will pass through airports and is sturdy enough to beat off zombies with.


  4. I think the 30 lbs may have more to do with your switching to an all vegan diet than the stroke, because your body may still be adjusting to your eating habits. But it should balance out soon.

    Hope your face has stopped hurting from the fall. I think Oscelot is onto something though, get a retainer for now and save up for the implant later.

  5. Hey Tim,

    I lost the majority of the weight before switching to a Vegan diet--and I have been switching my diet around a lot to find a way to gain some of my weight back.

  6. Oh. That would make sense too.

    Also, as far as your frustration and anger, I understand how you feel. Like I said on "Like Columbus Before Me", I will be going in for outpatient surgery on the 27th of December to have a fine needle biopsy on a mass on my thyroid. For me, the frustration and anger is all because A) I'm paranoid that it would be cancer, B) I have no answers right now as to what is going on, and C) I always thought that at this age, late 20s, we were supposed to be healthy and happy, but that's not the case for you, me, and way too many other people.